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NXtremes joke page


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Author Topic: NXtremes joke page  (Read 328 times)
NXtreme
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« on: June 13, 2008, 12:19:37 pm »

this is a load of joles i know. sorry if tumbleweed starts rolling around your house

a man walks into a bar and the barman says: "mate, the door's over 'ere"

i walked into the doctors the other day. thats how i got this bruise

why are football stadiums always cool?
because there's a fan in every seat

"doctor... i think i've broken my leg! what can i do?"
"limp"

an athiest falls off a cliff and ends up hanging on by his fingertips. "someone HELP ME!"
then a golden light shone down and a voice said: "I shall help you"
and the athiest said: "Anyone else?"

knock knock
"why cant you use the doorbell?"

a fat person and a fit person are having a race.
the fat person won
they rolled to the finish
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« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2008, 01:18:30 pm »

an athiest falls off a cliff and ends up hanging on by his fingertips. "someone HELP ME!"
then a golden light shone down and a voice said: "I shall help you"
and the athiest said: "Anyone else?"

Cheesy That's a good one! I've got a few now:

I recently started reading a book about Stephen Hawking's theories on anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

If money doesn't grow on tress, why do banks have branches?

Two fat men go into a bar. One says, "Your round."
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« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2008, 01:37:17 pm »

If you have your own set of jokes, you can post them in a new thread as your own joke page.
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« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2008, 02:46:56 am »

And the winner is - HPNOTOAD -

No tumbleweed, but a few crickets Tongue
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NXtreme
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« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2008, 10:36:13 am »

why should you never go out with a tennis player?




because to them luv means nothing


(that one works better spoken)

and i got a few more jokes from this radio programme on last night.

"i am a security guard. i have some security guard jokes for you.

how many security guards does it take to change a light bulb?

1

we're not stupid you know.

a security guard walks into a bar.

nothing happens.

thats what we get payed for

it's not that bad, being a security guard. we have are own club called 'the Security Guard Club'.
we used to have a more international name

club security guard

but we changed it in case anyone took it literally

knock, knock.
'who's there'
oh you heard. just checking. security"
« Last Edit: July 02, 2008, 10:42:12 am by NXtreme » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2008, 05:58:23 am »

why should you never go out with a tennis player?




because to them luv means nothing

That's great.
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NXtreme
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« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2008, 10:35:21 am »

what do you get if you cross a security guard with a diamond?

a sentence to prison
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« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2008, 02:19:47 am »

last one was good
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TheAPERSON
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« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2008, 03:27:22 am »

He didn't come up with that one himself though, even though it was a good joke.
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« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2008, 11:21:56 am »

He didn't come up with that one himself though, even though it was a good joke.

what, just because its about security guards? That last one is my own, after listening to a load of security guard jokes i thought i'd make up one of my own
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« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2008, 02:02:48 pm »

Oh, I didn't realise.

Sorry, I don't get it.
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« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2008, 12:14:30 pm »

as in, you walk past a security guard with a diamond. crossing a security guard with a diamond
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« Reply #12 on: July 11, 2008, 04:10:04 pm »

Oh, now I get it.
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