NXtreme
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doo-doo-duh-DA-du-DA! WHEE! *splat*
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« on: June 13, 2008, 12:19:37 pm » |
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this is a load of joles i know. sorry if tumbleweed starts rolling around your house
a man walks into a bar and the barman says: "mate, the door's over 'ere"
i walked into the doctors the other day. thats how i got this bruise
why are football stadiums always cool? because there's a fan in every seat
"doctor... i think i've broken my leg! what can i do?" "limp"
an athiest falls off a cliff and ends up hanging on by his fingertips. "someone HELP ME!" then a golden light shone down and a voice said: "I shall help you" and the athiest said: "Anyone else?"
knock knock "why cant you use the doorbell?"
a fat person and a fit person are having a race. the fat person won they rolled to the finish
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OL1V3R
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« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2008, 01:18:30 pm » |
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an athiest falls off a cliff and ends up hanging on by his fingertips. "someone HELP ME!" then a golden light shone down and a voice said: "I shall help you" and the athiest said: "Anyone else?" That's a good one! I've got a few now: I recently started reading a book about Stephen Hawking's theories on anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. If money doesn't grow on tress, why do banks have branches? Two fat men go into a bar. One says, "Your round."
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TheAPERSON
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« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2008, 01:37:17 pm » |
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If you have your own set of jokes, you can post them in a new thread as your own joke page.
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Hypnotoad
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« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2008, 02:46:56 am » |
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And the winner is - HPNOTOAD -No tumbleweed, but a few crickets
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Time flies like an arrow Fruit flies like a banana
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NXtreme
Laughter Novice
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Posts: 176
doo-doo-duh-DA-du-DA! WHEE! *splat*
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« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2008, 10:36:13 am » |
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why should you never go out with a tennis player?
because to them luv means nothing
(that one works better spoken)
and i got a few more jokes from this radio programme on last night.
"i am a security guard. i have some security guard jokes for you.
how many security guards does it take to change a light bulb?
1
we're not stupid you know.
a security guard walks into a bar.
nothing happens.
thats what we get payed for
it's not that bad, being a security guard. we have are own club called 'the Security Guard Club'. we used to have a more international name
club security guard
but we changed it in case anyone took it literally
knock, knock. 'who's there' oh you heard. just checking. security"
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« Last Edit: July 02, 2008, 10:42:12 am by NXtreme »
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TheAPERSON
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« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2008, 05:58:23 am » |
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why should you never go out with a tennis player?
because to them luv means nothing
That's great.
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NXtreme
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doo-doo-duh-DA-du-DA! WHEE! *splat*
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« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2008, 10:35:21 am » |
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what do you get if you cross a security guard with a diamond?
a sentence to prison
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Hypnotoad
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« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2008, 02:19:47 am » |
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last one was good
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Time flies like an arrow Fruit flies like a banana
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TheAPERSON
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« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2008, 03:27:22 am » |
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He didn't come up with that one himself though, even though it was a good joke.
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NXtreme
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Posts: 176
doo-doo-duh-DA-du-DA! WHEE! *splat*
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« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2008, 11:21:56 am » |
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He didn't come up with that one himself though, even though it was a good joke.
what, just because its about security guards? That last one is my own, after listening to a load of security guard jokes i thought i'd make up one of my own
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TheAPERSON
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Oh, I didn't realise.
Sorry, I don't get it.
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NXtreme
Laughter Novice
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Gender:
Posts: 176
doo-doo-duh-DA-du-DA! WHEE! *splat*
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as in, you walk past a security guard with a diamond. crossing a security guard with a diamond
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