Nintendo Comedy Club

*approved by theAPE*

in this game you have to murder the person above in any way you want and then make your getaway. e.g.

"i throw a grenade at theAPE and then teleport to a faraway field"

next poster:  "...which i rigged with landmines. i get on a rocket and fly to outer space"

I collect a Smash Ball, scream Great Aether, and send NXtreme flying away. I then teleport to a parallel universe.

Which is primed to explode thanks to my many, many subspace bombs. I float down to Green Hill Zone.

Which is filled with Robots created by Doctor Eggman. I use this opportunity to travel to Shadow Moses Island.

A Metal Gear squashes you flat. I'm off to Final Destination! Seeya!

Master Hand grabs you as you enter Final Desitination. I then go into The Great Maze.

Tabuu goes nuts on you and sends you flying. I then go to said character's room, beat him and stay for a while.

The League of Secret Keepers silently takes you out for mentioning Tabuu. I sit and wait and laugh in my Fortress of Doom.

Subspace bomb = Total destruction. I teleport to... *checks Brawl stages* Flat Zone 2!

every character becomes 2-dimensional in flat zone 2 so i cut you in half with a pair of scissors

i then ride a landmaster to a faraway unknown location

But, because it's unknow, the landmaster plummets into the sea, as you don't know where it is.
I teleport to the least dangerou's stage in Brawl - Yoshi's Island.

it turns to winter and you freeze to death.

i hitch a ride on a yoshi and go to the (WARNING! BRAWL STAGE SPOILER IN TINY WRITING)pirate ship and drown the yoshi there

press quote to see what the tiny writing says

(I was talking about the Melee one, but, oh well)

The (BRAWL SPOILER ZOMG!) sinks, I turn into a blue Pikmin and inhabit it. MINE, ALL MINE!

Snorlax appears out of nowhere and squashes the Blue Pikmin. I then decide to escape Brawl and travel to Rainbow Road.

Bowser knocks you off and you plummet to your doom. I return to Brawl and stay in... Ummm... Hyrule Temple, because I can't think of any more Brawl stages.

i destroy every copy of brawl in existance and murder everyone capable of making another copy

i escape to the Moon Cave

Orochi deep fries you and eats you. I then draw wind and ride to North Ryoshima Coast.

I get a crossbow and shoot you for no real reason. I then escape to Pokemon Stadium 2, because I know where it is. :P

since i destoyed every copy of brawl and everything and everyone capable of making another copy, you go to nothing and i shoot you in the head. i teleport to the 75m level on Donkey Kong

But that's in Brawl, you twit! You fall into nothingness. I get a fairy godmother, wish for Brawl to come back and teleport into The Subspace Bomb Factory! Wait... Oops...

I think he meant the actual 75m level from Donkey Kong

I tell the R.O.B's to arm all the subspace bombs and escape on the Falcon Flyer. The Isle of Ancients Explodes into Subspace.

the ROBs malfuntion and blow up the White House instead and you die in prison

i go to mars and hide next to the machine that shoots bombs at you when you say zeekyboogydoog... oh wait...

Boom goes you! Random explosions FTW.

I run away to Onett! (Remember, it's not only in Smash Bros, it's in Earthbound/Mother, so I'm allowed)

I eat the Pie

Pie is great

I then escape to Midgar in Cid's airship

All the Final Fantasy universes collapse on each other, the Floating Continent falls on Midgar, Kefka kills you and I hide in Figaro Castle.

...which is trapped underground and you suffocate.

I hide in Yoshpet Forest

Something terrible happens that cannot be revealed or it will spoil the plotline and you somehow die.

I hide in a parallel universe.

Which is destryed when Silar is stabbed

I escape to New-New-York in a Futurama tube

The tube is broken at it's highest point and you fall out.

I then fly to Zebes in a spaceship.

I send Daleks after you

I hide in Subspace (after beating the final boss)

The Monty Python foot randomly crushes you

I then fly away with a cape feather

There are spikes at the top of the level and you fly into those.

I go to the Valley of Bowser and hide in Bowser's Castle.

Which is demolished by mario

I escape through a warp pipe

Which HAPPENS to contain a Pirahna Plant. I fly away to the Comet Obsevatory.

i tell Rosalina there's a meteor heading for the Observatory and you get shot down

i go to Kamiki Village

You get hit by an arrow.

I avoid all the people calling me Cheap by going into the Admin panel which you lot can't access.

As a global moderator, I follow you and gun you down

I retreat into my own brain

there's nothing to retreat into so i can see you and shoot you down

i turn invisible

But I'm also Peter Petrelli and can take on your ability, therefore I see you and shoot you with lightning.

I then fly away to Japan.

Where you're trampled by the angry mob following Nintendo's rubbish E3 pitch

I start a brave new world underground

"whoops my foot slipped" and there goes your last pitprop. i teleport to safety using somethging i can't tell you

You teleport in frount of me holding a sword. I happened to be praticing with the sword and kill you as you teleport in. I then travel to Zebes.

Which explodes

Doh!

I, meanwhile, am in CEX buying games

The lights go out, and before you know it your dead. I use the remains of Zebes to board a Galactic Federation Ship.

Whichs is attacked by Space Pirates, and you die.

I claim a hill in the name of Mars, and hide on it.

The hill is in fact an active volcano and it erupts.

I travel to Bryyo.

It turns out you have actually travelled to Brie, and are attacked by a giant Channel Islands cow

Brie FTW!

I eat brie on toast, and then walk to Tescos to buy more Brie

Aliens attack Tesco 's while your in it and the Supermarket collapses on top of you. I then use these alien spaceships to get away.

But the ships belong to the Schizophrenic aliens, which are in my side

They annihillate you on sight, whilst I escape through the Stargate

The Star-gate rejects you as un-worthy. I sneak up behind you and knock you out with a half-brick in a sock. You wake up as a slave on a Phillipino fishing boat. I hide out in an undetermined place in the Northern Hemisphere.

You drown. That place was in the middle of the sea.

I come back to life as a Zombie and head to the Arkley Mansion.

Unfortunately, a paranoid priest happens to be going door to door and comes upon the Arkley Mansion just as you get there. He pulls out the holy water he has in his pocket and douses you with it, causing you to collapse immediately. I happen to be watching from an undisposed locatin in Leonri's Fortress of Doom.

You hid in my Fortress of Doom? Bad move, buster! You are found by my army of evil secret flying robot ninja monkey butlers.
They take you to the blue guest-dungeon and gently flog you to death with scented bootlaces. :D

I press the random explosion button and it just so happens to explode on Leonri's Fortress of Doom. Since I wasn't anywhere near the attack I don't need to escape.

But, in a strange chain reaction involving brie, scented bootlaces, and alternate dimensions, the random explosion button explodes in your face while I remain unharmed.

However, the alternate me faced the explosion, now I go back to earth and fire a missile at Ratiqu.

Which misses, circumnavigates the globe and hit you

I watch from my space station

That happens to be the Space Colony ARK. The seven chaos emerals are gathered and the colony plummets to earth.


I go to the bathroom.

Unfortunately, the toilet you choose happens to have several black widow spiders hiding in it. You die a long and horrible death while I use an uninfested toilet.

I select continue and come back to life. Death snatches you from within the toilet while I go and find Soul Calibur.

Ah, but Death owes me a couple of favors, so I come back to life and get Soul Edge. Then I cut your head in two when you come to get Soul Caliber. After that, having both swords, I am filled with ultimate power and erect shields against anything used against me with any intent other than helping me.

I help you die.

Then I take back Soul Calibur and give it to Kilik.

Death happens to have an extremely poor memory, so I come back and convince Kilik to help me kill you.

Death finally gets annoyed at all this coming back to life business and kills you. Permanently.

I team up with Kilik and hunt down Leonri. Kilik sticks his rod into Leonri and kills him. I then go to the character selection screen.

Dodgy. You might want to edit that post

I shoot Apers in the back whilst he's fixing the post and run away to join the circus

The circus people put you in a cage and charge people 10c for a gawk at you. I become LORD OF ALL CREATION!

But Yami, Lord of Darkness, drains your power and leaves you helpless.

I then escape the Ark of Yamato with Waka.

Someone who knows what you're talking about kills you somehow

I don't disclose where I've escaped to, having realised the mistake I made previously

You become Wanted and when you arrive at your destination you are captured and murdered

I then escape by riding a Dragon.

The dragon explodes, as they do

I join the lunar whalers

You annoy Bender and he goes berserk and destorys you.

I escape to Planet Nintendo 64.

DK and Lure mug you for all your quarters. I form an alliance with Tibarn and hide in Phoenicis.

Tibarn betrays you and kills you.

I leave Planet Nintendo 64 and travel to Norion.

you get shot by the defence satellite

Since you have chosen not to reveal your location I send spies disguised as cookies with you. They kill you as you try to eat them.

I return to my secret base.

You step into a beam of light and darts shoot from the walls (killing you)

I fly away on a flying mouse mat

The mouse finds you again and squashes you.

I travel to the Ancient Castle.

so ancient it collapses on you

i hide underground

The Anicient Castle is underground so it ends up falling on you as well.

you get discovered and killed becasue you didn't escape. and because you carn't spel.

i escape inside the dictionary. (and NXtreme isn't a word in the dictionary so you'll never find me)

 I burn the dictionary, then climb the Empire State Building and perch on the needle.

The needle breaks and you come falling down.

I somehow survive the Ancient Castle and escape to Midgar.

To avoid a spoiler, I don't tell you how you die - play the game to find out!

I fly off on the airship

All the Final Fantasy universes merge and you crash into the floating continent.

I escape to my hideout and try and give Dissidia a better plot.